So, you’ve decided to buy an adult sex toy. It’s been on your mind for a while because if truth be told you’re not getting enough of the real thing. In fact, let’s be honest, you’re not getting anything at all right now. The semi-retired cleaner who pretends to clean your office each evening is getting more than you.

You Google ‘adult sex toys’ and suddenly you see what you’re up against. Page after  page of websites selling adult sex toys.

You click on one at random and then, looking round furtively, you click on your area of interest. Male sex toys.

Before you is a confusing profusion of more clickables. It’s no longer enough just to want an adult sex toy, or even a male sex toy. Now you have to decide if you want a pocket pussy, a vibrating ass and vagina, a cock ring, a love doll, a masturbator, a penis sleeve, blowjob simulators…oh boy, this is confusing.

You click on ‘Masturbators’ because you more or less know what that might entail. Then you discover there are ten pages dedicated purely to ‘Masturbators.’ Hang on a minute. When did the adult sex toy industry become so complicated? Last time you looked there were only a couple of vibrators for women and cheap blow-up dolls for men.

It’s time to get with the program. Today the adult sex toy industry is worth $15 billion per annum and expanding by 30% per year. Manufacturers have woken up to the fact, albeit late in the day, that everyone loves sex.